From the start of your career you will find yourself receiving feedback. This may be in the shape of annual performance reviews as well as other feedback you may receive in the course of your day-to-day activities.
As professionals in a technological environment, you’ll doubtless appreciate the concept of feedback. In human resource terms, feedback is both a tool for individual improvement and a strategic lever for organizational success. It is intended to enhance individual and team performance, drive employee engagement and satisfaction, and promote innovation and adaptability. If done well, in addition to building stronger relationships and team dynamics, feedback is likely to encourage team members to stay with their employer. But for feedback to be successful, it needs to be carried out and received appropriately. Unfortunately, people (on both sides) can get it wrong sometimes.
When it comes to giving or receiving feedback, the way we feel about it is often driven by our personal beliefs and values. For example, some believe the myth that people know they're doing a good job and so don't need to be told. This type of approach to feedback can lead to increased feelings of anxiety as people start to perceive feedback as a threat, especially if it only contains criticism. It follows that people will be on their guard or wary about what they’ll hear. Even positive feedback can be uncomfortable or challenging to give and receive if myths get in the way.
In my book, ‘Can I Offer You Something?’, I look at several feedback myths and how to move beyond them to have a more purposeful relationship with feedback.
There Is No Universal Formula
The belief that there is a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach can result in people having too much or too little feedback, often exchanged in a way that isn’t authentic. If there were a universal formula to exchanging feedback, all organizations would encourage their employees to use feedback in the same way. In reality, everyone experiences feedback differently and there is no universal formula. However, there is likely to be a ‘right way’ for you. The more you can understand about your own feedback preferences and share them with those you work with the more benefits you will get from engaging in feedback.
Feedback Is Not a One-Way Street
Feedback is not a one-sided event where the provider monologues through their take on what needs to change, what needs to continue or be different, and the recipient just sits and takes it on board. It needs to be more than that.
Recipients can feel as though feedback is being ‘done to them’ and as a result may start to disengage from the content and even the person providing the feedback. Feedback should be a conversation that goes back and forth between provider and recipient. People are more likely to stay present and engaged with the conversation if the feedback is offered with empathy and shared in a way that suits both people. This puts the human connection back into the center of the exchange.
Asking Questions Is Actually Helpful
Some people worry that they will be seen as being defensive if they ask questions. However, clarifying information demonstrates curiosity and helps you to build not only your self-awareness but also your awareness of others.
If a recipient of feedback does not have the space to ask questions for clarity, then it’s likely they will fill in the gaps themselves; we are meaning-making machines after all. This can lead them to assume they know what the provider meant and use their time and energy in a futile way to action the ‘wrong thing’. Many people providing feedback—feeling anxious themselves—just want to get it over with and so they unintentionally omit space for asking questions. This will likely lead to having to repeat the whole conversation again to clear up any misunderstandings or uncertainty, so don’t be afraid to query things.
Feedback Is Not a Call to Action
For the person on the receiving end of feedback, it can be particularly problematic when they get a lot of conflicting information. I once worked with someone who was told to both stop and start the same thing by two different people. This led to what I call ‘analysis paralysis’ as they tried to pick through all the information. In cases where feedback is not clear, recipients can bust themselves trying to action everything or focus on things that are not actually a priority. This can lead to missed opportunities, missed deadlines, and frustration all around.
Feedback is really about inspiring choice, offering perspectives on something in order for the feedback recipient to choose what to do with it: learn, act, or do nothing—without being penalized. What feedback is not, is direction. Everyone involved in the feedback process needs to be clear when someone is being told to do something.
And this is why asking questions is important. You need to understand when you are being required to do something (or stop doing something) because there will be unhelpful consequences for you or for the organization (perhaps in a compliance context). If you are unclear if you are being asked to act or merely reflect, seek clarity.
Summary
The crucial thing is that feedback works for the person receiving it. You may not be able to control how feedback is passed on to you, but if you understand some of the myths that muddy some approaches, you can get more from the process.